Last week, I had the opportunity to be with a loved one and her family while they experienced the death of their mother and wife. It was an incredibly sad but also very courageous and natural process, and it confronted me, not surprisingly, with death.
All kinds of things speed up, reach a zenith and settle when death is in our faces. My friend was able to put aside pain and resentment she felt towards her mother and her family, and replaced it with nothing but love and a tender feeling of sadness and closure. This probably wouldn’t have happened, or at least not so quickly, otherwise.
This is what death teaches us, the ones granted a few more years; that life is precious and it is short. Death will come and it will come sooner than we think. It puts yesterday’s frustration about our traffic jam into perspective.
With impermanence as their ‘religion’, Buddhists are very aware of the clock that is ticking away, bringing us closer and closer to the moment of our death. It is often said in Buddhist traditions that if we were aware of the preciousness of our human life, we would practice (meditation is this sense, but replace this with being awake, loving, painting, dancing, enjoying if it resonates with you) as if our hair was on fire! And interesting article on time running out and the possibility of awakening that that reality brings can be found here
Another traditional Buddhist way to awaken to our life, not just in the face of death but continuously, is called ‘the four reminders’. These are, as the name suggests, four reminders of things we tend to forget too easily. I have translated them freely; (you can find more traditional interpretations here)
1. The preciousness of our human life.
Being alive, having senses to connect and touch this utterly mystical experience we call life is amazing. To be able to love and be loved, to care, to cry and to laugh, to dance and to breathe is incredibly precious.
2. The reality of death and impermanence.
Death is real. Nothing lasts. Although we live like we don’t have any deadlines; we do. Big time. Our bodies will die, we will be forgotten and fade away.
3. Karma: the law of cause and effect.
Every act, thought, intention you generate sets something else in motion, it leaves a trace. There is no time off from natural laws. As Einstein’s definition of insanity goes; keep on doing the same thing and expecting different results. So prepare to reap what you sow.
4. The uselessness of samsara.
Spending your life trying to avoid pain and hold on to pleasure will not work and only results in suffering. This is a hard one maybe, but really, the “Me-plan” as Sakyong Mipham calls it just doesn’t work. It’s like bringing water to the sea.
Remind yourself of these facts of life before you are forced to, and they will make your life more meaningful and more able to be of service to those around you.
